7... days... AHHHHHHH!

In exactly 7 days from today I will be set apart as a full time missionary!!! Talk about SCARY, exhilirating, crazy, tender moments!

Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. Not only have I cried tears of sadness, I've cried tears of joy, nervousness, and excitment! At the moment I am not crying, but, I am so excited! Throughout my preparation time since I got my mission call, (5 months to be exact), I've had such great experiences. Most recently I gave my farewell talk, basically saved a man's life, and had a life altering experience. 

1st- I gave my farewell talk this past Sunday (4/28/2013). I struggled and struggled. I started writing my talk two weeks in advance and apparently that is not a good idea. It only made me more nervous and anxious. I wrote, re-wrote, and then re-wrote my talk again. The night before I gave my talk I reviewed my talk. I was nearly in tears thinking I was going to make a fool of myself. (did I mention I've been super emotional lately?) I knelt down in a prayer and asked that I would be able to convey the message properly and have the Holy Ghost with me as I perfected my talk. When I started revising my talk after that prayer, it was like I was Ernest Hemmingway, or even better, Nicholas Sparks. My words were so fluid and made since all of the sudden. Quotes and scriptures from my research were finally cohesive and made sense to my subject! 

I was also very lucky to have been able to sing a duet of "Oh Lord, My Redeemer" with my mom! Turns out the Choir got scheduled for the same day:/ We were sitting up in the front at the beginning of sacrament and the Bishop leaned over and whispered, "Oh can you sing your duet after the choir sings their musical number?" I just about had a panic attack! (not really...I was actually pretty calm considering the circumstances.) The choir's musical number was absolutely beautiful. That in combination with the song my mom and I sang, truely brought the Spirit to the meeting. When I got up to talk, I wasnt even that nervous. Words just flowed and made sense (totally a first for my public speaking experiences!). I had such an incredible day! As I was speaking I noticed my Young Women's leader from a few years ago (who is in a different stake might I add). She was there to support me! It really meant a lot that so many of my family members and advisers were there to support me! 

2nd- I kinda helped a man. I was driving with my sister and we saw a man on the sidewalk who was just lying there. We pulled over and I was fully prepared to give CPR. He was consious though so I called 911 and fortunately a nurse who was on a walk came over and helped as well! Fortunately he is ok! I'm just glad we saw him and were able to help in anyway!

3rd- Life Altering Experience! So recently I've been feeling a lot of anxiety and thinking I'm not prepared to be a perfect missionary! It's been kind of getting to me:( Anyways, I was reading in my scriptures a few days ago and read 1st Nephi 20 verse 10. It says, " For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the 

furnace of affliction. "  I LOVEEEE this! It really helped me realize that those feelings were a refining moment 

for me. I am not perfect, but, I am trying which is something! I also read the following quote on one of my 

favorite sister missionary blogs Bella In Berlin, She said,

"I remember how hesitant I was to serve a mission.

I'm no gospel whiz, or poster child for LDS living magazine. 

I'm not a " typical" sister missionary.

But then again. Noone asked me to be

Missions are NOT scary, hair pulling, sacrifices.

They are hard, but so rewarding. They do not run you into the ground or frustrate you..

The sisters and elders believe it or not.. are NORMAL people..

Not all sisters enjoy wearing shades of gray and orthopedic shoes and not smiling..

The quicker i learned to be myself, wear cute bows on my shoes and to love the work..... it made all the difference.

6 am may never get easier, weekly planning may never be fun, doors may never open..

but God doesn't ask us to be perfect or to move mountains, he just asks us to push." 

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!! God didn't ask me to be perfect. He asked me to try and to do my best. "God doesn't ask us to be perfect or to move mountains, he just asks us to push." Anyways. I'm babling on, but, I did want to post my experiences as they have really impacted me! Much Love:) 

So much to be thankful for!

I am so thankful for the restoration of the Gospel and for the Book of Mormon. Oh and I'm getting super anxious for my mission! I can't help but staying up late and reading missionary blogs...I may be addicted! haha! Soon enough I'll be emmersed in being a missionary so I figure the addiction will work itself out;) 2 weeks and 2 days left:)

Speechless...

There are a few things in life that truly leave you speechless. I’ve been speechless several times this week on different accounts whether they have been good or bad. (I’m going to start with the bad because I like to end with the good.)

Bad kinda speechless= that moment when you hear horrible news about a horrific tragedy that could have been potentially been prevented. For example, Monday 15^th, 2013 news of a life altering explosion came through text as my mom and I drove home from Denver. Entirely speechless. I know that Americans throughout our country felt the same pain and anguish knowing that a young boy, only 8 years old, died. Knowing that 2 others died in the blast along with another 26 year old security guard shot only a few days later by the men responsible for this horrific terror attack was appalling. I was speechless knowing that Satan riles up contention and anger in everyone, but, to take another human life as a reaction to this contention and hatred is another thing. I know with every ounce of my being that America will never forget the souls lost in this attack. In recognition of that fact I also realized part of the good kinda speechless…

Good kinda speechless=that incredible moment when you realize that the sould lost in the attack are in a better place. Knowing that Heavenly Father has a plan. A beautiful plan. A plan where we can be with our families forever. To have this beautiful gospel in my life and know that the happiness I feel is undeniable and is caused by the Holy Ghost, the ones I love, and being able to know about this beautiful plan and all that it entails. It leaves me quite speechless (in the good way) knowing that although life on this earth is short, I can live with my loved ones forever and that my future marriage and family won’t just be “till death do you part.”  If you want more info on my faith and what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints teaches, click this link! http://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/manual/missionary/pdf/36950_the-plan-of-salvation-eng.pdf?lang=eng

On that note, I am so thankful to get to have the opportunity to serve for what I believe in. I stand in awe of the love I already feel for the beautiful people of Bolivia who I haven’t even met yet. They are my Hermanos and Hermanas and by even being able to show others the happiness I feel through this gospel will be an honor. 18 months is a long time, but, I know that every moment will be worth it in the end.  Much loveJ Schylar Tarvin! 

27 days:)

27 days!!!! ain't it crazyy!! (Its really 27 days if you don't count today, or the 8th considering I leave so early in the morning it doesnt count <3 )

Ever since I turned in my papers I've been getting this not so great feeling. The persistent nagging feeling like I'm gonna miss out on so much while I'm gone, or that I'm not good enough to teach this gospel isn't too pleasent. Obviously the adversary has too  much time on his hands because whether he likes it or not, I'm Going (and in 25 days nonetheless...tehe:)) 

When I get those feelings though, I  remember a talk I had with my Aunt Sherri (who also happens to be close friends with my mission president and his wife...coincidence, I think not!) Anyways, she and I had a talk late one night while we were visiting my grandparents. She told me a great story about a man who showed her the refining preocess of gems and stones. She then related it to life and how we should all work towards listening more intently to the Holy Ghost. 

I realize now that this feeling I've been getting can act as a refining process for me. I can never deny the incredible overwhelming feeling of the Holy Ghost when I knew I was meant to serve a mission. Everytime I tried to push it out of my mind or put it off, I couldn't. It was such a strong feeling and it clouded my every thought. 

In this moment, I know stronger, and more confident than ever that I AM GOING ON THIS MISSION. It's what I'm meant to do. I know it with every ounce of my being. What the adversary doesn't know is that this pressure and persistent nagging has only made me realize that I AM WORTH trying to drag down and keep up from going on a mission.

 I am so blessed to be able to go serve my Heavenly Father and bring others to this true and complete happiness I feel when I'm living the gospel. In the words of Sister Dibb in last October's conference, I am a Mormon, I KNOW IT, I LIVE IT, and I LOVE IT! 

29 days...

I cannot hardly fathom that in less than 29 days I will be on my way to Peru to go to the MTC. 29 days!!!!! AHHHHH!!! My entire life I've been really great with counting down to something. I always said "this situation will make me happier", or "that event will make me happier" but, with this countdown, I've really taken to heart that I should be "enjoying the journey." I've had such a wonderful oppurtunity to really build upon my testimony and to have time to read the Book of Mormon as much as I can and the experiences this time has allowed me to have is just another reason that I KNOW our Heavenly Father loves us each individually.  

People always say that you never know what you've got until it's gone...well I've definitely been feeling the importance of the small things in life recently. I know I will definitely miss my family. Thats a given. I'll miss my friends (being away from most of them for a few months already has proven that). I'll miss the little things we have in America that they don't have in Bolivia. As my departue comes closer and closer though, I know with all of my heart that this time away from the people and things I love is for a great purpose. I LOVE THIS GOSPEL SO MUCH! I wouldn't be doing this mission if I didn't.

 In this weekend's General Conference, Elder Holland said that "you have more faith than you think you do" and that he was "not asking for you to pretend to faith you do not have, but, to be true to the faith you do have." This really effected my perspective on a few things. I know that I have Faith in the Lord, and Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost. I have faith is modern day revelation and prophets. I know with all my heart that the Book of Mormon is true. I always thought that my testimony was inferior to others' but, these quotes by Elder jeffery R. Holland taught me to be true to my own testimony and faith and not to let the fact that I am  not perfect or my feelings of imperfection effect my life. Living and acting on the faith that I do have will only strengthen my testimony and guide me to the best I can be. 

With all of that being said, I really do love this church. I am so blessed to be able to go to such a beautiful country and be part of spreading the gospel. I already love the Bolivian people and know that my time, no matter what I may be doing, will be such a wonderful experience that I will most surely never forget. 

Here's your daily dose of the beauty of Bolivia! you're welcome ;)