There's a lot I don't know about life. I don't know where I'll be in a few months, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up (although I have a good idea), who I'll marry (even though I like to think it'll be Jeff Holm, Channing Tatum, or Ryan Lochte), and so much more I am unaware of. What I do know is that I live a wonderful life. I've been blessed with so many things in this life including my family, friends, talents, and a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. All of these things, what is known and that which is not, are what have defined me as Schylar. In the LDS faith, as women, we are given the choice to serve a mission for 18 months. Unlike the obligation towards the men, women go by will alone. This is my story.
These past few months have been life changing. I've always thought I would serve a mission if the time was right, little did I know that October's general conference ( in the first ten minutes mind you), my life would change drastically. The second the words came out of President Monson's mouth in regards to the age change for men and women, I knew I needed to go on a mission. I called my parents right after the announcement. I was so passionate about going and knew that ultimately that was what was going to happen. I didn't know when or how, I just knew I was going.
Then, not even a day later, I had my doubts. I didn't have doubts about going, but rather doubts and anxiety over leaving things behind and getting left behind. There were (and still are) so many reasons not to go. 1) I just got to BYU-Idaho and I wasn't ready to leave the most amazing experiences and friends I have had yet to face. I had been waiting for the college experience my whole life, I sure as heck was not ready to just abandon that. 2) My family. We have our ups and downs, but, my family means the world to me. Being away from them for 18 months just isn't very appealing. 3) There were options for my life. I was finally feeling like I could see my future and knew some of the expectations for my life. I had a plan. I didn't want to just have to uproot my life.
I started my papers about two weeks after conference. A week later I stopped. My list of reasons not to go was getting extensive. I had a taste of bitter thoughts and then they started overtaking my thoughts. I fasted and prayed hoping I would get a straight answer of when to go.I came to a conclusion that I needed to wait just one more semester and see where I was then (based only out of my own decision because I hadn't felt inspired one way or another). A few weeks had passed and registration was coming up. It seemed like every time I tried to make a decision I thought of how it applied to me going on a mission. For example, I tried buying a skirt. I ended up not buying it because I thought that if I ended up going somewhere cold on my mission that I wouldn't be able to wear it. I tried registering for classes. That didn't work either. It was eating at me. Every thought was consumed in mission.
I HAD gotten an answer to my prayers I was just being too stubborn to admit it to myself. I went to my Grandparent's house for Thanksgiving shortly after I realized this, but, didn't say anything. I felt like everyone had already heard me be wishy-washy in my mission decisions and didn't want my family to think I was going to change my mind as soon as I went home. I tested my thoughts out on my dad when I called home the day after Thanksgiving. He told me he would be supportive no matter what I decided to do. He told me that I was an adult ( a weird thought, huh?) and that I could make my own decision and that it shouldn't be based on how others felt but on how I felt. I went back to the guest room to sleep that night and knelt in prayer once more. The spirit spoke to me so strongly and I knew that I wasn't meant to stay another semester. I was meant to go on a mission just as soon as I could get a call and a date to enter the MTC(mission training center). The next day as I was preparing to leave to go back to Rexburg, my Grandpa offered a prayer. He prayed that I would know of what I should do in regards to my mission and that I would prepare myself. It was the most beautiful feeling to have that confirmation.
There have been some trials that have appeared in preparing my papers and getting prepared to move home and leave Rexburg. Today was a hard day. I called my dad once more and he reminded me that Heavenly Father could tell my intent on going on a mission and that every thing would work out. Sure enough, by the end of the day, almost all of the problems that have surfaced since I've been working on my papers have worked themselves out. I realize this was a long story so thanks for reading my life in a nutshell. I'm not sure of where the road will take me but I do know that I'll be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. Each day has been a journey, but, a joy nonetheless. I set up this blog so that others can see my journey pre- mission and during ( my friends will be keeping it updated with the latest info) in hopes that it will let others see my journey and see the ups and downs of mission prep and life! Let me know if you have questions and know that I'll be doing my best to post often:)
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